The Meaning Of Life

Typical cliches;

 What does it all mean? 

Why are we here?

 Who really created us and for what purpose? 

Of course everyone has an idea, a theory and it won't be until the time of our deaths that we will truly know the answer, or will we? 

I was raised in a family rich with religious diversity and as I have gone through life I have experimented and studied many religious and spiritual belief systems. Now, I believe with all my heart that every human must be brought up with something to believe in about our creation and inevitable demise, but so far all my studying and research and learning experiences have yielded much meaning but no results. If this life I have is all there is for me, then why am I here? I am loved but not deeply, I mean nothing to my employer and when I reach out to another person all I get is lies and false smiles and empty affirmations. 

All I have ever wanted for myself is two things; the right job that will fulfill me and bring good to others and true soulmate love. I have been lured into both by bad people and false promises but never given a chance and always mistreated because I believe there is good in all things and all people. 

A woman can only take so much of the same meager offerings and abuse. 

I spend my grotesque commute home from my meaningless job crying. Crying not out of self pity but because I am in so much pain. I am a good person with so much to give and never given a chance. This has been the way of my fifty two years on this rock and today yet another blow that leaves me frightened for my safety and well being. It seems as though the only time we are acknowledged is when we are dead. All I want is to be acknowledged while I'm still taking in breath and yet if there is some sort of God he isn't listening or he is and he just doesn't care. I am so tired.