Powerless

I work in a courthouse.

Last week a man came to one of our counters. He was asking the clerk some questions and not liking her answers. He started getting angry, then loud, then all out aggression yelling swearing flailing fists. 

When the Sheriff's arrived on the scene instead of shutting down he just got worse and finally was removed from the premises all the while yelling, ' Police shot my son'! 

And all of us said or thought at the same time, 'I hope he doesn't own a gun'! 

It was no laughing matter. We fell quiet as the reality set in, that feeling of being powerless.

Here was a man who believed he had been wronged in some way; even though his actions were what brought him to be at the courthouse to begin with. Here was a man who wasn't phased by the presence of Law Enforcement. Here was a man who didn't seem to have anything to lose and here he was in front of me. 

All of my fears and 'what if's ' filled me with a sense of dread. How have we come to this? I thought as a society we had grown away from the Wild West mentality of brute force at the end of a barrel and kill or be killed. But it simply isn't so. 

I fear for my country, I fear for humanity, but I am angry that I should have to fear my own species at all.  

We are not powerless. We can choose to lay down our guns and our fears and live in harmony wth one another. Don't let hate have power over you.