The Presence Of God

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I'm lost in a void of confusion.
It feels like an electric shock that just won't let up.
My thoughts are a jumbled mess as though all the Angels and Demons are clamoring to yell at me at once.
I remember a time when I was young I visited a 900 year old church.
It was a simple wooden structure. I sat on a bench in the middle of the chapel and looked up. I was in the midst of complete and utter silence. I saw no one around me. Then, in that silence came a light and an energy that no words could ever describe. I felt as though I was being cradled in the arms of Angels and all my fears and pain rushed away if only for that brief moment. When reality came crashing down around me once more I noticed people that were not there before and tears on my cheeks. I knew without any doubt that I had just been in the presence of God, but where now has he gone and why has he left me? I am here, come find me.

I can never silence my mind and I wish I were deaf to all the whispers of the universe.
Where is God? I need him to silence the cries and screams of my fears and loathing.
All I desire is within me they say, all you have to do is pray, visualize and believe.
Praying doesn't work because God doesn't live in my here and now. I can't afford to wait indefinitely for the peace in which my very life depends..
Visualizing, I close my eyes and imagine I'm in a warm loving place only to end up stubbing my toes on the bench here in my reality.
Believe? What should I believe in?